I've been searching for a black bag for a long time. One that holds all of my stuff and looks nice. Well, last night, I was in Barnes and Noble and spotted the new Vera Bradley in Barnes and Noble display and saw the cutest pattern ever. At first I wanted some kind of pretty designer bag, but you know, that doesn't mean much to me. I really like Vera. This pattern is called Night Owl. It is the cutest, so I ordered a bag in that pattern. Yay! If I am going to pay for a pretty black bag I want to love it and have it be very functional. Isn't the pattern cute? When you look closely you can see the little owls. Oh my! Cute.

I am feeling much better today. I talked with my teacher and we came up with a plan for the rest of the semester. However, she did agree that I have a huge decision to make this semester. We talked about the music business and what a strange business it is. I told her about my other thoughts about being a financial planner or a lawyer and she agreed it was a good idea. She also encouraged the public school teacher idea. She said her father was a public school teacher.
She also encouraged the law school idea and told me about a very talented former student of hers who decided to go into law instead and has had a very happy stable life.

I think another question, being 23 almost 24, unemployed as a musician and in one of the most expensive schools in the country...how important is it to me to know without a shadow of a doubt that I am secure? Secure in whatever meaning of the word you want, financially, emotionally, spiritually...This is my question of the semester...not am I quitting music or am I going to persevere or whatnot.
What makes me happy?
What is important to me?
How can I make that happen?
I've been thinking a lot about it, but not obsessing over it like I was doing earlier. I feel that things will fall in place the way they are supposed to and that I will be OK no matter what I decide to do as my career. I just need to make the most of my time here, which I plan to do. My teacher and I decided that I should work on something that I am already confident about. So, we chose Mozart Concerto No. 5. I played it for my FSU auditions when I was a senior in high school. I felt really good about it. Another reason we chose it was to help heal some of the wounds inflicted on me by the teacher that taught it to me when I was in high school. Although my high school teacher was very nice and influential in my life he did some serious damage to my confidence and just me in general. I appreciate my current teacher's desire to help me work on that and get better at the same time.