Every time I want to smash my violin up against the wall, which is pretty much all the time, I do LSAT quizzes and work on logic strategies. I think I am going to register to take the LSAT in February and then try again in June to improve my score and see what I need to work on.
Here's the deal.
Violin has been my life. I have poured so much time into it. There comes a point when you do a little too much and reach the edge of insanity and hatred. There is a fine line between love and hate. That is why everything should be in moderation. I am burned out!
I have no problem focusing my attention on reading or writing or even figuring out little problems. My problem is that I cannot do that on violin anymore. For the past 14 years of my life it is all I have done and I cannot do it any longer. It is something that I loved that now I hate and I hate THAT!
I want to love it. I just cannot do it. I would love to play in some rinky-dink low pressure community orchestra, play wedding gigs, and maybe teach some lessons on the side. I cannot eat and breathe it. That is what it takes at this level. I am not willing to do that. I can focus my attention like that on other things because they are NOT close to my heart.
Somethings are too close to your heart to put yourself through this kind of pain. Violin used to be close to my heart and I hate what the music profession and music school has done to me. I curse it. I would rather be a jaded lawyer or financial adviser who comes to work everyday from 9-5 than play in a disgruntled orchestra and constantly have someone breathing down my throat about my performance in music.
I can handle it when it is something not close to me, but please. That is the reason people. Read it and get over it. Accept it. If I don't want to hate music entirely I must put it down. I don't know for how long...but I must.