How much is a masters degree worth?
Kevin thinks I am burned out. I would have to agree. Every time I come up with some something or another to convince myself that I am really liking this, I run into some kind of block.
What is puzzling me is, am I the block?
Have I ever learned to make the most out of a situation?
Have I ever learned to stick things out?
Have I ever learned to be happy where I am?
The answer to all these questions is yes. Yes I have, so why do I still feel so gross about being here?
Here are some other questions that bebop around my brain.
Is studying with my teacher here worth it?
Is the education I am receiving worth the money I have poured into it?
I am trying so hard to take each day as it comes and appreciate it for what it is, but I find myself right back in the same spot at the end of the day. Maybe I haven't been trying hard enough.
A friend yesterday asked me if it was because I am homesick. Well, yes that does play a role. She said that she couldn't judge a place by only being there 5-6 weeks. I disagree.
Maybe something will happen between now and Thanksgiving that will completely change my life and open my eyes to the wonder and beauty of being a graduate student.
So, ok MSM...show me your stuff...your best...or I am out of here.
resepi kek kukus coklat
3 years ago
1 comment:
NGB! It makes me immensely happy that you are reading my ridiculous ramblings. And yes, you would have been the first to know about my online adventure. I had to laugh, I mean what else can you do? And I'm enjoying your blog as well, it makes me a little less lonely at the Skeez. May I add you to my list of followed thingies?
Well, I am sorry that MSM has not bowled you over thusfar. I hope it changes and you start feeling a sense of place there, but whatever happens I know you'll make the right choice for you. My only words of unsolicited wisdom are these (although they'd be a lot more effective with a wise beard): A lot of times I feel like these things pile up right before some sort of breakthrough- like it's a test or something. This music thing is so damn cyclical. Sometimes everything is going according to plan, the next day you're dropping your instrument (Oh, wait, that was me) and wondering why you're putting up with all this goofy mess. Maybe this is just one of those suffocating times before you break to the surface and breathe again...
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